My Little Niece: A Short Digital Story to Commemorate the Final Day of the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence: Thank You, Center for Digital Storytelling and the Asian Women's Shelter

Watchful Mothers and Their Young: Gavin deBecker is Correct

Several months ago, I heard a story about a young girl who went out with her mother for ice cream. As they emerged from the car, the child darted into the store ahead of her mom, while remaining within the mother's clear line of sight. The mother entered the store 20-30 seconds behind her daughter, walked up to the counter where her daughter and the cashier stood, gave her order and paid for the ice creams. The two of them sat down and waited for their names to be called when their items were ready to pick up. The mother noticed that the normally chatty child was quiet and asked her "What's wrong? You are being very quiet." The child said "That man was talking to me and he made me feel very uncomfortable inside." "What man?" asked the mother. "The man who just picked up his order and left as soon as we sat down" said the child. 

Slowly, the mother recalled seeing someone in the corner of her eye as she entered the shop, but she had no idea what he looked like. "What did the man say to you?" asked the mother.  "He said hi and I didn't want to say hi back so I said it very softly and didn't look at him. Then he asked me if I like this ice cream store. I didn't want to answer him so I just said yes very softly. Then he asked me what I was going to order and then the cashier called to me and asked me if she could help me. You came into the shop right then." The mother asked the child if the cashier saw the man. "Oh yes, Mom. And I could tell she was uncomfortable, too. She looked worried." 

In fact, when the mother and child later discussed this with the cashier, she confirmed to them that she was worried and couldn't explain why. The cashier merely said "I felt very uncomfortable with the way that man was looking at you." That was enough to spur her into action.

Good jobs well done, all around. Paying attention to that little voice inside, what Gavin deBecker calls the "wild brain" is our best safety device and teaching our children to use it is one of the finest gifts we can give to them.

Saferproducts.gov Goes Live! Great Site to Research/Report Safety of Products for Consumers

After dodging last minute attempts to prevent it from doing so, "Saferproducts.gov" went live into the land of internet and please spread the word and take advantage of this new consumer treasure! I have watched a few of its videos and played a bit with its search bar and user friendly tab layout and it looks very promising!

Best Air Safety Ad Ever! On Air New Zealand, Of Course!

Kindness Towards Kitten Knows No Bounds... A Model for Compassionate Engagement

Road Safety: Always Wear Seatbelts! Wonderful PSA from England

How Do We Instill Hope?

When will we figure out a way to prepare our children for the skill set they will need to deal with the predictable conflictual issues which are inherent in dealing with their schoolmates, their future partner and their future children? The major problem lies in the fact that they are caught unaware, unprepared and therefore, incredibly vulnerable. The real tragedy is that if we could prepare them with a few simple realizations, they would be well on their way to preparing themselves and learning skills as simply as fastening our seatbelts, flossing our teeth and checking our blind spots... (Sigh) Spread the idea...

Sports Coaching for Teens? Badddddd...ly

Separated Parents Lose Track of 3 Year Old for 2 Days: "I Thought He Was With You?"

So, Little Dion, of Macomb County (Michigan)  finishes up his tour as the Birthday Boy at the local pizza joint, then wanders around aimlessly at the arcade... until authorities are summoned and begin to look for his parents or guardians or even his name, on Saturday evening. For 2 days, the police received no contact from anyone, inquiring about a lost 3 year old child. Each of the parents assumed that Dion was with the other parent or the grandmother (I'm going to bet she takes the fall for this one) and neither parent checked in with the other one or, presumably,  even thought to call Dion and ask him how he liked his birthday party. After all, what 3 year old wants to talk about his birthday party, right? (They LIVE for their birthday party at this age and they talk about it, incessantly, ALL YEAR LONG!) Dion would not say his name, his phone number, his address, or anything other than "pizza"and "ice cream."He couldn't tell them who dropped him off. By the way, when he was 

Finally, on Monday afternoon, they did receive a telephone call from the pizza joint saying that one of the parents had just contacted them, saying that each of the parents thought that the other or the grandmother, would be picking up Dion after the party. For now, Dion remains in foster care... 

Doesn't this say it all about the importance of coparenting and communication? 

'Way to go, Caeserland Pizza employees on Eagleman, near Hoover Road!

New CCTV Surveillance Camera System (CCTV Camera Pros, powered by Appburst.com) at Mike's House on Twitpic.com

E Secure Video

Stop Sexual Assault PSA from September 2009 Conference

Katie Couric Speaks With Teen Violence Victims

Watch CBS News Videos Online

My Ears and Eyes Are Shocked by These Statistics...

I'm reading new research on the biomarkers and neurological differences with people who "test" and having sociopathy... and clicked on a link in the series of articles... when suddenly I came across this startling statistic: that 1 woman in 6 is murdered by acts of domestic violence. As I was researching an article about recalls on baby strollers, I came across another startling statistic: that in the US, the number one cause of death in pregnant women is from domestic violence. I will be following up to ascertain more evidence of the validity of these citations. But, they did come from professional medical and justice department sites. Food for thought, in the meantime...

Finding the Life Balance (AKA "I CAN"T DO THAT!") YES, YOU CAN!

The whole idea about balance is based on the idea that you must always be in motion.  You must be present, in the moment, in your body, attuned to yourself and the person in front of you. Sometimes, you may have some other things on your mind (or on the front of your head!) which some people call "intrusive thoughts." You know, the ones that sound like this "I can't do this right now! I have to get to the office/grocery store/feed the dogs/take a run/decorate for Halloween..." Right? I can hear the chatter in my head. Can you? Listen to it, take a breath (in through your nose, out through your mouth- smell the cookies, blow out the candles...) Then, tense up your shoulders and hold it... higher... and release them suddenly... feel that warmth? The relaxation allows you to take another breath; deeper this time... and exhale... Repeat as necessary. Select a thought. Some people call this a "mantra." One of my favorites is "I love and accept you just the way you are for today." Another is "I will trust that the universe is unfolding just as it should and I will improve every encounter I experience today." If you have trouble finding one, look up "affirmations" and choose one that speaks to you... Practice this every day until it becomes a part of your daily self care routine. Affirm the good and pass it on... "Validate the positive and embrace the challenges and changes ahead of me today. We call these  adventures..."

How to Talk to Your Children About Swine Flu- from the Association of School Nurses

Talking to Children About Swine Flu (H1N1): A Parent Resource 

Concern over Swine Flu (H1N1) can make children and parents anxious. Although to date very few people in the United States have become sick, there is uncertainty about how far and quickly the virus will spread. Acknowledging some level of concern, without panicking, is appropriate and can result in people taking actions that reduce the risk of illness. Helping children cope with anxiety regarding the flu requires providing prevention information without causing alarm. Children look to adults for guidance on how to react to stressful events. If parents seem overly worried, children may panic. Parents should reassure their children that health and school officials are working hard to ensure that people throughout the country stay healthy. However, children also need factual, age appropriate information about the potential seriousness of disease risk and concrete instruction about how to avoid infection and spread of the virus. Teaching children positive preventive measures, talking with them about their fears, and giving them a sense of some control over their risk of infection can help reduce anxiety.

Specific Guidelines

Remain calm and reassuring. Your children will react to and follow your verbal and nonverbal reactions. What you say and do about the flu virus and current prevention efforts can either increase or decrease your child’s anxiety. If true, emphasize to your children that they and your family are fine. Remind them that you and the adults at their school are there to keep them safe and healthy. Let your children talk about their feelings and help put their concerns into the appropriate perspective. Make yourself available. Your children may need extra attention from you and may want to talk about their concerns and questions. Make time for them. Tell them you love them and give them plenty of hugs and kisses. Know the symptoms of Swine Flu and how it spreads. Symptoms of Swine flu include fever, sore throat, and cough. Some people also have a runny nose, fatigue, body aches, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. The virus is transmitted through the coughing or sneezing of people infected with the virus. People may also become infected by touching something with flu viruses on it and then touching their mouths or noses. The virus is not spread by eating pork or other foods. Review basic hygiene practices. Encourage children to practice everyday good hygiene by washing their hands, by covering their mouths with a tissue when they sneeze or cough, and by not sharing food or drinks. These simple steps are very effective at preventing the spread of flu and other illnesses. Giving children guidance on what they can do to prevent infection gives them a greater sense of control over the flu and will help to reduce their anxiety. Be honest and accurate. In the absence of factual information, children often imagine situations far worse than reality. Don’t ignore their concerns, but rather explain that at the present moment the vast majority of people, even those who are sick, will be okay. Nationwide, the number of people who are currently sick is very small. Children can be told that there are many ways to avoid the virus and that doctors can help to treat people who do get sick. Contact your school nurse or pediatrician and/or refer them to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) for factual information. Discuss new rules or practices at school. Many schools will be enforcing prevention habits. This might include more frequent hand washing or use of antibacterial soaps; for older children, schools may temporarily limit activities where students are in close proximity or sharing items. Your school nurse or principal will send information home. Be sure to discuss this with your child. Contact your school nurse with any specific questions. May 1, 2009 Avoid excessive blaming. When tensions are high, some people exert excessive energy trying to assign blame. It is important to avoid stereotyping any one group of people as responsible for the virus. Bullying or negative comments made toward another ethnic group should be stopped and reported to the school. Monitor television viewing. Limit television viewing or access to information on the Internet. Constantly watching updates on the status of the flu virus can increase anxiety. Engage your child in games or other interesting activities instead. Developmentally inappropriate information can cause anxiety or confusion, particularly in young children. Maintain a normal routine to the extent possible. Keeping to a regular schedule can be reassuring and promotes physical health. Ensure that children get plenty of sleep, regular meals, and exercise. Encourage them to keep up with their schoolwork and extracurricular activities, but don’t push them if they seem overwhelmed. Communicate with your school. Let your school know if your child is sick, and keep them home. Talk to your school nurse, school psychologist, school counselor, or school social worker if your child is having difficulties as a result of anxiety or stress related to the flu. They can give guidance and support to your child at school. Follow all instructions from your school.

Take Time to Talk

You know your children best. Let their questions be your guide as to how much information to provide. However, don’t avoid giving them the information that health experts identify as critical to ensuring your children’s health. Be patient; children and youth do not always talk about their concerns readily. Watch for clues that they may want to talk, such as hovering around while you do the dishes or yard work. It is very typical for younger children to ask a few questions, return to playing, then come back to ask more questions.

Keep Explanations Age Appropriate

 Early elementary school children need brief, simple information that should balance Swine Flu facts with appropriate reassurances that their schools and homes are safe and that adults are there to help keep them healthy and to take care of them if they do get sick. Give simple examples of the steps people take every day to stop germs, such as washing hands.

 Upper elementary and early middle school children will be more vocal in asking questions about whether they truly are safe and what will happen if the Swine Flu comes to their school or community. They may need assistance separating reality from fantasy. Discuss efforts of school and community leaders to prevent germs from spreading.  Upper middle school and high school students are able to discuss the issue in a more in-depth (adultlike) fashion and can be referred directly to appropriate sources of Swine Flu facts (e.g., the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). Provide honest, accurate, and factual information about the current status of the Swine Flu. Having such knowledge can help them feel a sense of control. Suggested Points to Emphasize When Talking to Children  At the present time very, very few people are sick with the flu virus in this country. School and health officials are being especially careful to make sure as few people as possible get sick.  There are things we can do to stay healthy and avoid spreading disease, such as washing our hands, covering our mouths with a tissue when we sneeze or cough, and staying home when we don’t feel well.  Adults at home and school are taking care of your health and safety. If you have concerns, please talk to an adult you trust.  It is important that all students treat each other with respect and not jump to conclusions about who may or may not have the flu.

For Further Information Visit:

 The National Association of School Nurses: www.nasn.org

 The National Parent Teacher Association: www.pta.org

Federal Resources:

 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu/key_facts.htm

 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: http://www.hhs.gov/

 U.S. Department of Education: http://www.ed.gov 

Updated by VRH on May 2, 2009

Sex, Love and Addiction: Dr. Elaine Brady's Free Public Presentation

Sex, Love and Addiction

A  FREE  Public Presentation Series 

  

                              Hosted By:  The Sequoia Center   

Presenter: Dr. Elaine Brady

June 4   Sex, Love and Addiction

What is Love and Sex Addiction? What is Sexual Anorexia?  How are they related to alcohol/drug addiction? What causes it? What does it take to overcome it? 

June 11    Partners of Sex Addicts  

Is your partner a Sex and Love Addict?  How are you and your family being affected by the problem? What does my Recovery process look like? Can your relationship be saved?  

June 18  Cybersex: Caught in the Web 

Millions of people are addicted to Cybersex activities and their lives are being ruined as a result.  This class explains how it happens, how to get out of it, and what to do if it’s your partner who’s trapped.

June 25  Early Recovery for Individuals & Couples

How to stay “sober” and rebuild your life and relationships. 

Time:  Thursdays, 7-9 pm

Location:  El Camino Hospital, 2500 Grant Rd., Mt. View,  CA  94040 

Main Bldg., downstairs conference  rooms:  6/4, 6/11, 6/18 Rm. A     6/25 Rm. B

Pre-Registration is Requested:  This enables us to provide adequate seating and to reach you in the event of a room change.  

Contact:  Dr. Elaine Brady at docelaine@elainebrady.com or call  408-260-9305

Presenter: Dr. Elaine Brady is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Certified Addiction Specialist and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. She has 25 years of experience working with relationship issues and substance abuse problems.  She publishes, teaches at local Universities, and provides counseling and consulting services through her San Jose office.  

Visit her website:  elainebrady.com

Re: Wash Your Hands

Great Video from a Teen about HANDWASHING!!

Swine Flu Updates Directly from the CDC and Department of Human Services

Parental Alienation (Canada)

Parental Alienation (Canada): Judge in Parental Alienation Case: 'Hate doesn't grow in children normally. It is usually taught to them'

Well... There is a powerful quote made by Judge Gomery, in the recent appellate case of Ermel v Ermel. There are a number of others contained in the appellate opinion and quotes of the judges statements to the mother of the children, who had been unable to follow the Court Orders and the case had crawled on for years and years...

Food for thought...