"Bullies Kill, Words Scar, Rumors Destroy"

Kaelynn shouts it out (although she is silent in this brief video) against all bullies, after numerous years of enduring her own torturous abuse until her friend's suicide galvanized her to take action to stand up, speak up and call on all of us to protect others. It is very difficult for people to understand why this ability to "save " someone else motivates people to reach beyond their own perceived ability to help themselves. Yet, they can. History is full of examples of these people. They walk among us, every day. Social scientists have studied this and confirmed this ability (described as reflecting "empathy" or "agape", among other terms). What a brave heart lives within this young woman. She deserves our gratitude, our prayers and our willingness to demonstrate our courage to stand up in front of her and say no more. We will not stand by and say nothing. Nor will we participate or silently "pass it on." Thank you, Kaelynn. Thank you for finding your voice and sharing it here...

Sports Coaching for Teens? Badddddd...ly

My Happy New Year Wishes

Best Wishes to all, for a healthy and blessed new year. In the honor of the new decade (does it start with 2010 or 2011?) I have attached this photo as a symbol of my image of "hurling oneself into the fray." Fray negotiation is not for the faint of heart... Rather than avoid it, we must GREET it, RISE to the occasion, EMBRACE the difficult conversation... while avoiding any and all temptation to escalate, retaliate or lose our focus on our greatest value... that of moving the discussion forward and maintain the connection...

Atlantis: Rise Above, Be Bold and Abhor Bad Acts

I was having a conversation with one of my teenagers this week, we came across the light topic of "So, Is Man Basically Good or Bad?" Her argument was "They are bad."

I protested, she politely listened and then made the following speech: "No... we are basically bad and we have to be taught to be good. Then, it takes effort and energy and care to behave well.... Think about it. It is easier to blow someone off than to strive to reach them... It is easier to be rude than to be considerate... It is easier to eat with our hands than use a fork... It is easier to wipe our mouth with the back of our hand than to use our napkin..." I am deeply moved by these last several arguments... Maybe this child is seeing something which I have ceased to appreciate... Then she absolutely floored me by saying "I see how you are polite, you are kind, you insist on teaching us manners, grammar and taking the high road... I see you are disappointed when you see other people act like that... They just don't know any better... See? So, do I win the argument now?"... Wow...

What a Perfect Day to Focus on Healing from Family Violence

What an ideal time of year to focus on the importance of healing and preventing further family violence. What is it? Where does it happen? It is endemic in our country, crosses all socioeconomic barriers, crosses all educational levels and is absolutely toxic to our families, our communities and our future generations.

Let it stop here... Listening to so many others over the past few months, describing what happens in their own experience... is humbling and a frequent reminder about that old saying "Let there be peace... and let it begin with me." The news about the recent gang rape in Richmond of a 15 year old girl, the news about the two young boys beaten and shot by randomly encountered teenagers last weekend catch our attention and mobilize us to call for justice. What about the well dressed girl standing behind us at Starbucks, on the way to school on Monday morning? Go to www.bullyonline.org and read the stories posted there... they include family bullying... and family violence... Heart wrenching education, there... and hope, as well.

Suicidology and the World Health Organization

Just a pretty button?

The recent rash of suicides among teenagers at Gunn High School in Palo Alto reminds me of the wealth of data available from the World Health Organization (WHO) about "Suicide and the Media." This information is readily available to the public about how these things should be handled. Their guidelines, which are published with updated statistics each year, do not advocate or support the current practices being followed by this community. 

Please do not push the button. 

http://www.who.org

San Patrignano- An Amazing Treatment Center