Terry Real is a wise and courageous couples' therapist who gives his clients the dignity and respect to extend himself beyond the traditional "neutral stance." He calls it "Relationship Life Therapy" (RLT).
This clinical approach represents what is still the "minority view." I have used variations of this approach for many years. I would also venture to say that far more "non-neutrality" is delivered in therapeutic settings than many of us know. I hear about this frequently from new people about some of their previous experiences; their interpretations, their projections, their "take away's." Sometimes, I read these for myself, in court documents and other adversarial missives (cringe).
The key distinction ("OK" versus "NOT OK") lies in answering this one question:
To what extent/whether or not has the therapist identified their position (regarding any particular topic or behavior) and specifically labeled it for what it is: neutral or not; straight up. This is best accomplished with also providing them with the rationale about why they are not adopting a "neutral stance" (e.g., a non-neutral stance is required in cases of both intimate partner and family violence).
There are an endless multitude of warm, respectful, funny and empathetic strategies we therapeutic types can use to use to tell our people the truth...
They deserve our respect and our courage. They need to be able to safely trust us and be correct in doing so.
Watch him and see....
Happy weekend :))
