Saturday, August 6, 2016

"The Found and the Lost" - Terry Real- A Couple's Therapist Who Courageously Extends Himself Beyond the "Neutral Stance" "Relationship Life Therapy" (RLT)

Terry Real is a wise and courageous couples' therapist who gives his clients the dignity and respect to extend himself beyond the traditional "neutral stance." He calls it "Relationship Life Therapy" (RLT).
This clinical approach represents what is still the "minority view." I have used variations of this approach for many years. I would also venture to say that far more "non-neutrality" is delivered in therapeutic settings than many of us know. I hear about this frequently from new people about some of their previous experiences; their interpretations, their projections, their "take away's." Sometimes, I read these for myself, in court documents and other adversarial missives (cringe).
The key distinction ("OK" versus "NOT OK") lies in answering this one question:
To what extent/whether or not has the therapist identified their position (regarding any particular topic or behavior) and specifically labeled it for what it is: neutral or not; straight up. This is best accomplished with also providing them with the rationale about why they are not adopting a "neutral stance" (e.g., a non-neutral stance is required in cases of both intimate partner and family violence).
There are an endless multitude of warm, respectful, funny and empathetic strategies we therapeutic types can use to use to tell our people the truth... 
They deserve our respect and our courage. They need to be able to safely trust us and be correct in doing so.
Watch him and see.... 
Happy weekend :))

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Teaching Mindfulness to Children, to Teachers, to Lawyers, to Judges- My Playlist from June, 2015, "Mindfulness - Awareness"

During this turbulent & heartbreaking month.. perhaps, we all need some  Mindfulness-Learn-Speak?

This is a great introductory video to a series called "Go Strengths Online" which is designed to teach Mindfulness to children at home and at school. It is produced by a group called "gozenonline." Don't you wish you'd thought of that name? 

I have left my "2015 Mindfulness- Awareness" Playlist "Public" on the "Valerie Houghton" YouTube channel. This playlist includes a TEDx Talk by Dr. Daniel Siegel, MD on Neural Integration, another one by Megan McElheran, PhD titled "Trauma, Change and Resilience" plus three inspirational video clips from "Remember the Titans" and  public health video short film titled "The Best Medicine: Why Relationships Matter" by WatchRelate. 

AND if you want to find any of these goodies on your own, please do! As always, take what you like and share what you like. During this turbulent month... we need to practice MINDFULNESS. As they say in Titans, "teach (us) to trust the soul of a man rather than his look... no matter what aspect of our lives, I hope we can live by these words. 
Happy Sunday. Peace be with you.

Monday, May 2, 2016

Celebrate the 33rd Anniversary of Mr. Edward Lawson's 1983 Civil Rights Victory in the US Supreme Court in Kolender v. Lawson "Stop & Identify" Law in San Diego

                U.S. Supreme Court KOLENDER v. LAWSON                                                                                                         
                                            461 U.S. 352 (1983)                                                                                   
                                                   No. 81-1320. 
                           Argued November 8, 1982 ~ Decided May 2, 1983  
"We conclude that the (California 647(e) "stop & identify") statute as it has been construed is unconstitutionally vague within the meaning of the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment by failing to clarify what is contemplated [461 U.S. 352, 354] by the  requirement that a suspect provide a "credible and reliable" identification."

"As such, the statute vests virtually complete discretion in the hands of the police to determine whether the suspect has satisfied the statute and must be permitted to go on his way in the absence of probable cause to arrest."
                                                   ...... Justice Sandra Day O'Connor

Obviously, 33 years later, our united nation still has a long way to go.
It's our responsibility; each one of makes choices, whether or not we stand up, speak up and do the right thing... or not. 
We make a choice; "Who am I today?"
Today is May 2nd, 2016. Thank you, Mr. Lawson.

Friday, February 12, 2016

How to Record Mirrored Devices Using Reflector 2: Great App for Making Fabulous Tutorials OR for Committing Misdeeds by Surreptitious Pranksters

So, let's call them "MISDEEDS." Yeah, that works.
"Surreptitious Pranksters" could mean anyone from your stalker boyfriend (or girlfriend) to your former spouse or an obsessed stalker fan against whom you have a RESTRAINING ORDER!

It's just important to be aware, in this month, February, is TEEN DATING VIOLENCE (DV) AWARENESS MONTH! (

Many people are NOT AWARE of this issue.  
If we can't SEE it, we can't PREVENT it.  
Help our youth STOP IT WHILE WE CAN. 

Monday, November 16, 2015

"We Are United" ("Nous Sommes Unis")- Students Who Are French Muslims Speak Out- #SaveParis

1:40    Because of 120 deaths and millions of broken hearts...
By these cowardly acts of terrorists, convinced of the soundness of their choice...

They wanted France to be weak.
They made our French hearts strong.
One cry will be louder: it is the cry of fraternity.

A cry that says: one for all and all for one humanity.
We are and will forever be united.

"Whosoever takes one life, it is as though he has killed all of humanity." The Holy Qur'an. Sura 5. Verse 32

Friday, August 28, 2015

The Kindness Experiment: Three Different Scenarios & Watch What Happens!

This might be the perfect kickoff to your weekend! After a long work week, slogging through the traffic and getting everyone situated back in school, this brief video is a welcome visual and spiritual "refreshment"as these three different scenarios play themselves out. Now, none of these were any surprise to me, since I am pleased to say I witness them quite often... I've got to tell you, the FUN part was the looks on the faces of the people who were the recipients of the songs... THAT was the twist that really caught me in the throat... so very sweet :)) Enjoy!

Monday, July 6, 2015

The Two Personality Traits For Lasting Relationships from "The Science of Lasting Relationships"

So what are the two most important personality traits to look for when choosing a lasting relationship? Emotional stability (non- neurotic) and kindness towards others are the two most predictive traits needed for lasting contentment in our love relationship.
Currently, the rate of marriage in the USA is at an all time low, according to a Gallup Poll. Yes, that means it is lower than it was during the Great Depression, which started in 1929.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

"Broken" is Short Intense PSA Film regarding Domestic Abuse, Entered in a National Film Competition- Wow!

"Broken" is a finalist in a national film competition for this PSA regarding domestic abuse. Elfenworks, in partnership with Campus MovieFest (CMF), invites students to become social justice filmmakers and musicians by participating in the annual Campus MovieFest competition. It’s an opportunity to win up to $10,000,  make a difference with your art, and have fun, all at once. Winning films are
                                      SALIENT * EXCELLENT * COMPELLING