U.S. Peace Index Map: Changes Between 1991-2011

Leap of Faith Required for Change... Think, Plan, Prepare & GO!

Internet for Peace- Love This! Thank you, Craig Zeliger

Road Safety: Always Wear Seatbelts! Wonderful PSA from England

Sports Coaching for Teens? Badddddd...ly

The Value of an Apology: Insufficient? Relevant?

Does This Look Familiar? Yikes!

Okay, so these Grizzly Bears could be our clients, our parents, our colleagues, our best-intentioned judicial system... Fortunately, there is an alternative approach, which is modeled in the form of Restorative Justice. Check it out, look it up, google it, watch some videos of some of the Peace Circles, the "Oasis of Peace" with the folks in the middle east and consider the cost of violence- no matter what the form. "Blessed shall be the peacemaker..." No matter what faith we observe, there is truth in that mantra.

Genomes Are Beautiful!

What a lovely helix! It's amazing what a difference one tiny little peptide can do... If you are feeling a bit dazzled, think abut the cones and rods in your eyes... I wish that our educational system would highlight the fun and beauty of discovering science and make it come "alive!" It is almost as if their mission statement is "Hunt it down and beat every lovin' piece of fun and wonderment out of it!"

Stop Sexual Assault PSA from September 2009 Conference

Silobreaker Tool

Katie Couric Speaks With Teen Violence Victims

Watch CBS News Videos Online

reBlog from annyjacoby.wordpress.com: Anny Jacoby, Personal Safety Expert

I found this fascinating quote today:

The most common, persistent and intrusive of all stalkers, the rejected stalker is obsessed with someone who is a former romantic partner or friend, and  who has ended their relationship with the stalker, or indicates that he or she intends to end the relationship.  Depending on the responses of the victim, the stalkers goals will vary, and the rejected stalker usually struggles with the complex desire for both reconciliation and revenge.   As Mullen writes,  ”A sense of loss could be combined with frustration, anger, jealousy, vindictiveness, and sadness in ever-changing proportions.”  This stalker may be very narcissistic, and may feel humiliated by the rejection.  In most cases, they will have poor social skills and  a poor social network.  They are also the most likely to try to harm the victim in some way, and may employ intimidation and assault in their pursuit.  They may become jealous if their victim enters or continues a romantic relationship with another person.  A history of violence in the relationship with the partner is not uncommon.annyjacoby.wordpress.com, Anny Jacoby, Personal Safety Expert, Jan 2010

You should read the whole article.

My Happy New Year Wishes

Best Wishes to all, for a healthy and blessed new year. In the honor of the new decade (does it start with 2010 or 2011?) I have attached this photo as a symbol of my image of "hurling oneself into the fray." Fray negotiation is not for the faint of heart... Rather than avoid it, we must GREET it, RISE to the occasion, EMBRACE the difficult conversation... while avoiding any and all temptation to escalate, retaliate or lose our focus on our greatest value... that of moving the discussion forward and maintain the connection...

Atlantis: Rise Above, Be Bold and Abhor Bad Acts

I was having a conversation with one of my teenagers this week, we came across the light topic of "So, Is Man Basically Good or Bad?" Her argument was "They are bad."

I protested, she politely listened and then made the following speech: "No... we are basically bad and we have to be taught to be good. Then, it takes effort and energy and care to behave well.... Think about it. It is easier to blow someone off than to strive to reach them... It is easier to be rude than to be considerate... It is easier to eat with our hands than use a fork... It is easier to wipe our mouth with the back of our hand than to use our napkin..." I am deeply moved by these last several arguments... Maybe this child is seeing something which I have ceased to appreciate... Then she absolutely floored me by saying "I see how you are polite, you are kind, you insist on teaching us manners, grammar and taking the high road... I see you are disappointed when you see other people act like that... They just don't know any better... See? So, do I win the argument now?"... Wow...

Suicidology and the World Health Organization

Just a pretty button?

The recent rash of suicides among teenagers at Gunn High School in Palo Alto reminds me of the wealth of data available from the World Health Organization (WHO) about "Suicide and the Media." This information is readily available to the public about how these things should be handled. Their guidelines, which are published with updated statistics each year, do not advocate or support the current practices being followed by this community. 

Please do not push the button. 

http://www.who.org

Family Therapy: Breaking Through the "Hostage Situation"

" I Feel Like We, the Parents, Are Hostages to our Children!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-ySzmn1FOE takes you to a link for the Video Clip on Structural Family Therapy, developed by Dr. Salvador Minuchin. The focus is on understanding the family's structure, the distinction between the subsystems (parents in the "luxury boxes" vs. children in the "cheap seats") the distribution and problems associated with power within the family "system" and the "joining" of the therapist to the family, in order to understand the family functioning and to address these characteristics: rigidity, overprotectiveness, lack of conflict resolution skills and enmeshment. It is important to pay particular attention to the interpersonal conflicts and alliances... Caveat: Family therapy is much like cleaning out the proverbial front hall closet- the one with the old skates and tennis racquets and the parts of the vacuum cleaner that look like 14th century weaponry... It looks worse before it gets better... The "overindulged" sector will resist the empowerment of the "parental sector" with varying degrees of force. The longer the disharmony has been in play, the more resistant the force. The therapist must use timing, humor, empathy and curiosity to start the illustrious change of events... Please check my playlist on you tube for other demonstrations of what this family therapy looks like... it really is not a mystery... just fasten your seat belts for the first 8-10 meetings...

Child Custody Decisions

Summer Breeeezeee

They say that there exists such a thing as "Winds of Change..." If it isn't true, it sure should be... Around our neck of the woods, there is one child gearing up to launch, another comes closer and still steady on his track, their dad is the best balanced of the two of us, and my focus is changing in my work as I become increasingly troubled by how we model conflict resolution.

A wise (and smartie pants!) colleague asked me the other day: "Why don't you practice law?"

I responded "I do... I serve my role in mediation (and sometimes arbitration or evaluation or parent coordination) with custody, family mediation, elder mediation... I love the law and revere it... I just have a very hard time with the way it is practiced."

So, I just wait and watch as the idea of the interdisciplinary approach to helping heal ourselves ... thus modeling this for our "clients" continues to grow... I know this sounds odd, but my background is rooted as a hard science person.

Over the last 33 years, I have been exposed, jumbled and TAUGHT by the TRUE masters... my patients and my clients and all of the client families ... and my colleagues and my husband and my children ... and my own process of aging and (hopefully!) maturing... Every encounter humbles me and reminds me of the fragility and sanctity of life... even my recent encounter with Jeremy, the "Challenged AT&T Guy"... Thank God for Dale, the "REAL AT&T GUY!" Don't you love changing your office phones? EEK! It's all about the little things, every time!

Conflict Avoidance, Conflict Education, Conflict Resolution

Just did an excellent Advanced Mediation training by Steven Rosenberg, Esq.  up in Mill Valley. Great presentation for two days, wonderful to meet some of my fellow minded peers, from all over the place... Good times...

Parental Alienation (Canada)

Parental Alienation (Canada): Judge in Parental Alienation Case: 'Hate doesn't grow in children normally. It is usually taught to them'

Well... There is a powerful quote made by Judge Gomery, in the recent appellate case of Ermel v Ermel. There are a number of others contained in the appellate opinion and quotes of the judges statements to the mother of the children, who had been unable to follow the Court Orders and the case had crawled on for years and years...

Food for thought...