Andrew Schepard's Interview on Challenges Within Family Mediation- Excellent!

Does This Look Familiar? Yikes!

Okay, so these Grizzly Bears could be our clients, our parents, our colleagues, our best-intentioned judicial system... Fortunately, there is an alternative approach, which is modeled in the form of Restorative Justice. Check it out, look it up, google it, watch some videos of some of the Peace Circles, the "Oasis of Peace" with the folks in the middle east and consider the cost of violence- no matter what the form. "Blessed shall be the peacemaker..." No matter what faith we observe, there is truth in that mantra.

Family Therapy: Breaking Through the "Hostage Situation"

" I Feel Like We, the Parents, Are Hostages to our Children!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-ySzmn1FOE takes you to a link for the Video Clip on Structural Family Therapy, developed by Dr. Salvador Minuchin. The focus is on understanding the family's structure, the distinction between the subsystems (parents in the "luxury boxes" vs. children in the "cheap seats") the distribution and problems associated with power within the family "system" and the "joining" of the therapist to the family, in order to understand the family functioning and to address these characteristics: rigidity, overprotectiveness, lack of conflict resolution skills and enmeshment. It is important to pay particular attention to the interpersonal conflicts and alliances... Caveat: Family therapy is much like cleaning out the proverbial front hall closet- the one with the old skates and tennis racquets and the parts of the vacuum cleaner that look like 14th century weaponry... It looks worse before it gets better... The "overindulged" sector will resist the empowerment of the "parental sector" with varying degrees of force. The longer the disharmony has been in play, the more resistant the force. The therapist must use timing, humor, empathy and curiosity to start the illustrious change of events... Please check my playlist on you tube for other demonstrations of what this family therapy looks like... it really is not a mystery... just fasten your seat belts for the first 8-10 meetings...

Sex, Love and Addiction: Dr. Elaine Brady's Free Public Presentation

Sex, Love and Addiction

A  FREE  Public Presentation Series 

  

                              Hosted By:  The Sequoia Center   

Presenter: Dr. Elaine Brady

June 4   Sex, Love and Addiction

What is Love and Sex Addiction? What is Sexual Anorexia?  How are they related to alcohol/drug addiction? What causes it? What does it take to overcome it? 

June 11    Partners of Sex Addicts  

Is your partner a Sex and Love Addict?  How are you and your family being affected by the problem? What does my Recovery process look like? Can your relationship be saved?  

June 18  Cybersex: Caught in the Web 

Millions of people are addicted to Cybersex activities and their lives are being ruined as a result.  This class explains how it happens, how to get out of it, and what to do if it’s your partner who’s trapped.

June 25  Early Recovery for Individuals & Couples

How to stay “sober” and rebuild your life and relationships. 

Time:  Thursdays, 7-9 pm

Location:  El Camino Hospital, 2500 Grant Rd., Mt. View,  CA  94040 

Main Bldg., downstairs conference  rooms:  6/4, 6/11, 6/18 Rm. A     6/25 Rm. B

Pre-Registration is Requested:  This enables us to provide adequate seating and to reach you in the event of a room change.  

Contact:  Dr. Elaine Brady at docelaine@elainebrady.com or call  408-260-9305

Presenter: Dr. Elaine Brady is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Certified Addiction Specialist and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. She has 25 years of experience working with relationship issues and substance abuse problems.  She publishes, teaches at local Universities, and provides counseling and consulting services through her San Jose office.  

Visit her website:  elainebrady.com

Lessons from Mrs. Puchini: Walk the Line

From time to time, I will be writing stories about some of my teachers. They thought they were patients or clients, but I'm not sure who was more helpful to whom! In all of my stories, I am changing some of the following: their names, genders, ages, references to time period when we hung out together, and any potentially identifying information... just so you know...

Mrs. Puchini was a tiny elderly woman who always wore a housedress with a tiny white fringe of petticoat showing above her stick figure legs (Think flamingoes!) She loved to get up on a very tall ladder which was constructed during the year of her birth. As I approached her tiny little house, I walked along her side yard fence. Of course, since she and her family were small statured, so was the fence... 

Imagine my first sighting of Mrs. Puchini... Amid a little orchard of giant prune trees stood a lone rickety ladder, leaning up against one of the trees.  On the ladder's tallest step perched two little pink house shoes (slippers), with tiny white socks up to the ankles of these skinny little legs, topped off with a wisp of petticoat and a partial view of a pink housedress. Visually, 75% of her human form was apparently up in the middle of the prune tree, which was heavy with fruit. After I had rang her doorbell and knocked on the door for awhile, calling her name, the front door opened and Mrs. Puchini peered out with a big smile. She invited me inside. 

During our 30 minute visit, we eventually got to the discussion about her safety in her home, particularly dealing with her stove, her throw rugs (AKA flying carpets) and the importance of staying off stools and ladders (smooth segue!) Her big blue eyes grew wide and never flickered as she told me that she NEVER got on stools or ladders. She went so far as to put her hand on her tiny chest and assured me that she never would, now that I had asked her not to... Note the clinical and ethical dilemmas... 

For quite a number of years, Mrs. Puchini and I repeated this same conversation, every week or two. I never "confronted her"... I just helped take care of her, where she was, as she was... and tried not to let her know that I knew. That would have hurt her feelings. That would also have prevented me from being able to do the rest of my job. Every visit, she would hug me goodbye and wave from her doorway. Mrs. Puchini taught me a lot about respect, creativity, patience, compassion and a few tips on the strategy about how to walk that fine line between being a "healer" and being a guest. I continue to practice walking that fine line, every day. 

Years later, I heard that Mrs. Puchini had recently died peacefully in her sleep, in her own tiny little house. No ladders or stools were implicated.