Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
reBlog from annyjacoby.wordpress.com: Anny Jacoby, Personal Safety Expert
The most common, persistent and intrusive of all stalkers, the rejected stalker is obsessed with someone who is a former romantic partner or friend, and who has ended their relationship with the stalker, or indicates that he or she intends to end the relationship. Depending on the responses of the victim, the stalkers goals will vary, and the rejected stalker usually struggles with the complex desire for both reconciliation and revenge. As Mullen writes, ”A sense of loss could be combined with frustration, anger, jealousy, vindictiveness, and sadness in ever-changing proportions.” This stalker may be very narcissistic, and may feel humiliated by the rejection. In most cases, they will have poor social skills and a poor social network. They are also the most likely to try to harm the victim in some way, and may employ intimidation and assault in their pursuit. They may become jealous if their victim enters or continues a romantic relationship with another person. A history of violence in the relationship with the partner is not uncommon.annyjacoby.wordpress.com, Anny Jacoby, Personal Safety Expert, Jan 2010
You should read the whole article.
My Ears and Eyes Are Shocked by These Statistics...
I'm reading new research on the biomarkers and neurological differences with people who "test" and having sociopathy... and clicked on a link in the series of articles... when suddenly I came across this startling statistic: that 1 woman in 6 is murdered by acts of domestic violence. As I was researching an article about recalls on baby strollers, I came across another startling statistic: that in the US, the number one cause of death in pregnant women is from domestic violence. I will be following up to ascertain more evidence of the validity of these citations. But, they did come from professional medical and justice department sites. Food for thought, in the meantime...
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Man, It is Cold Out Here!
Just gathering up my energy get up from the couch and move to cuddle up in my bed- I have been avoiding every illness that has blown by... Hey- nurses never get sick!... and then, my nose started dripping (allergies?) and I got a little fever (hot flash?) and finally, this morning, I was forced to capitulate... I had to miss my Saturday outing with my girlie-girl... She went off to visit a college with some of her gal-pals yesterday and returned today, bringing me some ice cream (since she had this bug, she remembered that was all SHE had wanted.) Fortunately, my sweet husband person saves the day, picking up everything I (try not to) touch with mitts (I asked him where he lost his MASK!) and kind son dropped by to visit and chatted from the doorway- We are all devoted hand-washing, elbow sneezing & elbow-coughing zealots...and I appreciate them "hanging in there" with me...
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
My Happy New Year Wishes
Best Wishes to all, for a healthy and blessed new year. In the honor of the new decade (does it start with 2010 or 2011?) I have attached this photo as a symbol of my image of "hurling oneself into the fray." Fray negotiation is not for the faint of heart... Rather than avoid it, we must GREET it, RISE to the occasion, EMBRACE the difficult conversation... while avoiding any and all temptation to escalate, retaliate or lose our focus on our greatest value... that of moving the discussion forward and maintain the connection...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Atlantis: Rise Above, Be Bold and Abhor Bad Acts
I was having a conversation with one of my teenagers this week, we came across the light topic of "So, Is Man Basically Good or Bad?" Her argument was "They are bad."
I protested, she politely listened and then made the following speech: "No... we are basically bad and we have to be taught to be good. Then, it takes effort and energy and care to behave well.... Think about it. It is easier to blow someone off than to strive to reach them... It is easier to be rude than to be considerate... It is easier to eat with our hands than use a fork... It is easier to wipe our mouth with the back of our hand than to use our napkin..." I am deeply moved by these last several arguments... Maybe this child is seeing something which I have ceased to appreciate... Then she absolutely floored me by saying "I see how you are polite, you are kind, you insist on teaching us manners, grammar and taking the high road... I see you are disappointed when you see other people act like that... They just don't know any better... See? So, do I win the argument now?"... Wow...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The Katie Spencer Story by Burke Doeren
What a lovely story- how incredibly brave these parents have been... It reminds me of the phrase- "She won't remember as much about this- and you will never forget..." Thank you for making such a great movie, Mr. Doeren.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
What a Perfect Day to Focus on Healing from Family Violence
What an ideal time of year to focus on the importance of healing and preventing further family violence. What is it? Where does it happen? It is endemic in our country, crosses all socioeconomic barriers, crosses all educational levels and is absolutely toxic to our families, our communities and our future generations.
Let it stop here... Listening to so many others over the past few months, describing what happens in their own experience... is humbling and a frequent reminder about that old saying "Let there be peace... and let it begin with me." The news about the recent gang rape in Richmond of a 15 year old girl, the news about the two young boys beaten and shot by randomly encountered teenagers last weekend catch our attention and mobilize us to call for justice. What about the well dressed girl standing behind us at Starbucks, on the way to school on Monday morning? Go to www.bullyonline.org and read the stories posted there... they include family bullying... and family violence... Heart wrenching education, there... and hope, as well.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Finding the Life Balance (AKA "I CAN"T DO THAT!") YES, YOU CAN!
The whole idea about balance is based on the idea that you must always be in motion. You must be present, in the moment, in your body, attuned to yourself and the person in front of you. Sometimes, you may have some other things on your mind (or on the front of your head!) which some people call "intrusive thoughts." You know, the ones that sound like this "I can't do this right now! I have to get to the office/grocery store/feed the dogs/take a run/decorate for Halloween..." Right? I can hear the chatter in my head. Can you? Listen to it, take a breath (in through your nose, out through your mouth- smell the cookies, blow out the candles...) Then, tense up your shoulders and hold it... higher... and release them suddenly... feel that warmth? The relaxation allows you to take another breath; deeper this time... and exhale... Repeat as necessary. Select a thought. Some people call this a "mantra." One of my favorites is "I love and accept you just the way you are for today." Another is "I will trust that the universe is unfolding just as it should and I will improve every encounter I experience today." If you have trouble finding one, look up "affirmations" and choose one that speaks to you... Practice this every day until it becomes a part of your daily self care routine. Affirm the good and pass it on... "Validate the positive and embrace the challenges and changes ahead of me today. We call these adventures..."
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