Now, Here Is the Most Fabulous Divorce! A New Bar Has Been Raised!

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

SnagFilms Film Widget

Family Therapy: Breaking Through the "Hostage Situation"

" I Feel Like We, the Parents, Are Hostages to our Children!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-ySzmn1FOE takes you to a link for the Video Clip on Structural Family Therapy, developed by Dr. Salvador Minuchin. The focus is on understanding the family's structure, the distinction between the subsystems (parents in the "luxury boxes" vs. children in the "cheap seats") the distribution and problems associated with power within the family "system" and the "joining" of the therapist to the family, in order to understand the family functioning and to address these characteristics: rigidity, overprotectiveness, lack of conflict resolution skills and enmeshment. It is important to pay particular attention to the interpersonal conflicts and alliances... Caveat: Family therapy is much like cleaning out the proverbial front hall closet- the one with the old skates and tennis racquets and the parts of the vacuum cleaner that look like 14th century weaponry... It looks worse before it gets better... The "overindulged" sector will resist the empowerment of the "parental sector" with varying degrees of force. The longer the disharmony has been in play, the more resistant the force. The therapist must use timing, humor, empathy and curiosity to start the illustrious change of events... Please check my playlist on you tube for other demonstrations of what this family therapy looks like... it really is not a mystery... just fasten your seat belts for the first 8-10 meetings...

A Lovely DNA Origami Box

What a beautiful box, which was made by strands of DNA + bits of DNA + a computer program and the results are published in Nature Magazine...

Sibling Rivalry Is Not Just for Kids!

Playing with Friends Can Be So Simple!

Parental Alienation (Canada): In OZ ~ A caring and sharing problem

Parental Alienation (Canada): In OZ ~ A caring and sharing problem Under review are these items: the presumption of shared parental responsibility and whether shared care is appropriate, the requirement to mediate before going to the Family Court, the Family Court's response to allegations of family violence and the interaction of federal family laws with state child protection and family violence laws. The link to this article should take you there.

Child Custody Decisions

Sibling Conflict: When Not To "Let Them Work It Out"

I saw it again, today... I think I see it almost every day or two... I was in the nursery (plants) and there were two little girls bickering and a STTM (stressed to the max) parent. As I looked around, all of the dozen or so adults looked tense as the girls escalated the behavior. Finally, the parent snapped... "Of COURSE, you are going to start crying now, right?" They probably had no idea how much all of us empathized with their plight- how to deal with little girls fussing without feeling like a inadequate parent. Not true! We're all in this, together, and we need all of the support we can possibly get!!

Thoughts for next time? Intervene early, tell both children that whatever the item or activity may be, it is now on a time out, due to their behavior. Deliver all of this in a mild, yet firm tone. When they protest (which will be in unison) empathize with their disappointment and resist the urge to tell them why or yack about fault... "I hear that you all are disappointed. We will try this again in an hour or so..."

And, then... Glide on....

Loyal Dog Waits for Family After Big Rig Crash!!

Summer Breeeezeee

They say that there exists such a thing as "Winds of Change..." If it isn't true, it sure should be... Around our neck of the woods, there is one child gearing up to launch, another comes closer and still steady on his track, their dad is the best balanced of the two of us, and my focus is changing in my work as I become increasingly troubled by how we model conflict resolution.

A wise (and smartie pants!) colleague asked me the other day: "Why don't you practice law?"

I responded "I do... I serve my role in mediation (and sometimes arbitration or evaluation or parent coordination) with custody, family mediation, elder mediation... I love the law and revere it... I just have a very hard time with the way it is practiced."

So, I just wait and watch as the idea of the interdisciplinary approach to helping heal ourselves ... thus modeling this for our "clients" continues to grow... I know this sounds odd, but my background is rooted as a hard science person.

Over the last 33 years, I have been exposed, jumbled and TAUGHT by the TRUE masters... my patients and my clients and all of the client families ... and my colleagues and my husband and my children ... and my own process of aging and (hopefully!) maturing... Every encounter humbles me and reminds me of the fragility and sanctity of life... even my recent encounter with Jeremy, the "Challenged AT&T Guy"... Thank God for Dale, the "REAL AT&T GUY!" Don't you love changing your office phones? EEK! It's all about the little things, every time!

How to Talk to Your Children About Swine Flu- from the Association of School Nurses

Talking to Children About Swine Flu (H1N1): A Parent Resource 

Concern over Swine Flu (H1N1) can make children and parents anxious. Although to date very few people in the United States have become sick, there is uncertainty about how far and quickly the virus will spread. Acknowledging some level of concern, without panicking, is appropriate and can result in people taking actions that reduce the risk of illness. Helping children cope with anxiety regarding the flu requires providing prevention information without causing alarm. Children look to adults for guidance on how to react to stressful events. If parents seem overly worried, children may panic. Parents should reassure their children that health and school officials are working hard to ensure that people throughout the country stay healthy. However, children also need factual, age appropriate information about the potential seriousness of disease risk and concrete instruction about how to avoid infection and spread of the virus. Teaching children positive preventive measures, talking with them about their fears, and giving them a sense of some control over their risk of infection can help reduce anxiety.

Specific Guidelines

Remain calm and reassuring. Your children will react to and follow your verbal and nonverbal reactions. What you say and do about the flu virus and current prevention efforts can either increase or decrease your child’s anxiety. If true, emphasize to your children that they and your family are fine. Remind them that you and the adults at their school are there to keep them safe and healthy. Let your children talk about their feelings and help put their concerns into the appropriate perspective. Make yourself available. Your children may need extra attention from you and may want to talk about their concerns and questions. Make time for them. Tell them you love them and give them plenty of hugs and kisses. Know the symptoms of Swine Flu and how it spreads. Symptoms of Swine flu include fever, sore throat, and cough. Some people also have a runny nose, fatigue, body aches, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. The virus is transmitted through the coughing or sneezing of people infected with the virus. People may also become infected by touching something with flu viruses on it and then touching their mouths or noses. The virus is not spread by eating pork or other foods. Review basic hygiene practices. Encourage children to practice everyday good hygiene by washing their hands, by covering their mouths with a tissue when they sneeze or cough, and by not sharing food or drinks. These simple steps are very effective at preventing the spread of flu and other illnesses. Giving children guidance on what they can do to prevent infection gives them a greater sense of control over the flu and will help to reduce their anxiety. Be honest and accurate. In the absence of factual information, children often imagine situations far worse than reality. Don’t ignore their concerns, but rather explain that at the present moment the vast majority of people, even those who are sick, will be okay. Nationwide, the number of people who are currently sick is very small. Children can be told that there are many ways to avoid the virus and that doctors can help to treat people who do get sick. Contact your school nurse or pediatrician and/or refer them to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) for factual information. Discuss new rules or practices at school. Many schools will be enforcing prevention habits. This might include more frequent hand washing or use of antibacterial soaps; for older children, schools may temporarily limit activities where students are in close proximity or sharing items. Your school nurse or principal will send information home. Be sure to discuss this with your child. Contact your school nurse with any specific questions. May 1, 2009 Avoid excessive blaming. When tensions are high, some people exert excessive energy trying to assign blame. It is important to avoid stereotyping any one group of people as responsible for the virus. Bullying or negative comments made toward another ethnic group should be stopped and reported to the school. Monitor television viewing. Limit television viewing or access to information on the Internet. Constantly watching updates on the status of the flu virus can increase anxiety. Engage your child in games or other interesting activities instead. Developmentally inappropriate information can cause anxiety or confusion, particularly in young children. Maintain a normal routine to the extent possible. Keeping to a regular schedule can be reassuring and promotes physical health. Ensure that children get plenty of sleep, regular meals, and exercise. Encourage them to keep up with their schoolwork and extracurricular activities, but don’t push them if they seem overwhelmed. Communicate with your school. Let your school know if your child is sick, and keep them home. Talk to your school nurse, school psychologist, school counselor, or school social worker if your child is having difficulties as a result of anxiety or stress related to the flu. They can give guidance and support to your child at school. Follow all instructions from your school.

Take Time to Talk

You know your children best. Let their questions be your guide as to how much information to provide. However, don’t avoid giving them the information that health experts identify as critical to ensuring your children’s health. Be patient; children and youth do not always talk about their concerns readily. Watch for clues that they may want to talk, such as hovering around while you do the dishes or yard work. It is very typical for younger children to ask a few questions, return to playing, then come back to ask more questions.

Keep Explanations Age Appropriate

 Early elementary school children need brief, simple information that should balance Swine Flu facts with appropriate reassurances that their schools and homes are safe and that adults are there to help keep them healthy and to take care of them if they do get sick. Give simple examples of the steps people take every day to stop germs, such as washing hands.

 Upper elementary and early middle school children will be more vocal in asking questions about whether they truly are safe and what will happen if the Swine Flu comes to their school or community. They may need assistance separating reality from fantasy. Discuss efforts of school and community leaders to prevent germs from spreading.  Upper middle school and high school students are able to discuss the issue in a more in-depth (adultlike) fashion and can be referred directly to appropriate sources of Swine Flu facts (e.g., the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). Provide honest, accurate, and factual information about the current status of the Swine Flu. Having such knowledge can help them feel a sense of control. Suggested Points to Emphasize When Talking to Children  At the present time very, very few people are sick with the flu virus in this country. School and health officials are being especially careful to make sure as few people as possible get sick.  There are things we can do to stay healthy and avoid spreading disease, such as washing our hands, covering our mouths with a tissue when we sneeze or cough, and staying home when we don’t feel well.  Adults at home and school are taking care of your health and safety. If you have concerns, please talk to an adult you trust.  It is important that all students treat each other with respect and not jump to conclusions about who may or may not have the flu.

For Further Information Visit:

 The National Association of School Nurses: www.nasn.org

 The National Parent Teacher Association: www.pta.org

Federal Resources:

 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu/key_facts.htm

 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: http://www.hhs.gov/

 U.S. Department of Education: http://www.ed.gov 

Updated by VRH on May 2, 2009

Sex, Love and Addiction: Dr. Elaine Brady's Free Public Presentation

Sex, Love and Addiction

A  FREE  Public Presentation Series 

  

                              Hosted By:  The Sequoia Center   

Presenter: Dr. Elaine Brady

June 4   Sex, Love and Addiction

What is Love and Sex Addiction? What is Sexual Anorexia?  How are they related to alcohol/drug addiction? What causes it? What does it take to overcome it? 

June 11    Partners of Sex Addicts  

Is your partner a Sex and Love Addict?  How are you and your family being affected by the problem? What does my Recovery process look like? Can your relationship be saved?  

June 18  Cybersex: Caught in the Web 

Millions of people are addicted to Cybersex activities and their lives are being ruined as a result.  This class explains how it happens, how to get out of it, and what to do if it’s your partner who’s trapped.

June 25  Early Recovery for Individuals & Couples

How to stay “sober” and rebuild your life and relationships. 

Time:  Thursdays, 7-9 pm

Location:  El Camino Hospital, 2500 Grant Rd., Mt. View,  CA  94040 

Main Bldg., downstairs conference  rooms:  6/4, 6/11, 6/18 Rm. A     6/25 Rm. B

Pre-Registration is Requested:  This enables us to provide adequate seating and to reach you in the event of a room change.  

Contact:  Dr. Elaine Brady at docelaine@elainebrady.com or call  408-260-9305

Presenter: Dr. Elaine Brady is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Certified Addiction Specialist and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. She has 25 years of experience working with relationship issues and substance abuse problems.  She publishes, teaches at local Universities, and provides counseling and consulting services through her San Jose office.  

Visit her website:  elainebrady.com

Re: Wash Your Hands

Great Video from a Teen about HANDWASHING!!

Swine Flu Updates Directly from the CDC and Department of Human Services